Winks all around.

I feel like I haven’t been on here in forever, and well, I guess I haven’t. Things have been so hectic. So much has happened in such a little time. I no longer live in Fort Valley. I now live in Dublin, with my sister and brother -in laws. They are awesome, no doubt. But, Josh is living in a place that well, words couldn’t describe. He’s still working that shitty job, and well, life sucks right about now. We are hoping that a job for him falls through out here very quickly.

Anyways, just to catch you up.

A friend you’ve lost that you’re better off without/one you wish you had back.

1. A friend you’ve lost that you’re better off without.

Hmm, well I guess I would say it wouldn’t just be one friend, it would be a group of friends that I’m better off without. A group that just didn’t fit my lifestyle. I’m glad we drifted. I look back and know that that was not the right path.

2. A friend you’ve lost that you wish you had back.

Well, that would be Jennie. She was my best friend for years, and looking back I sometimes miss all the good times we had. But life happens fast, and the ones that aren’t willing to move forward, well they kind of get left behind. 

A time when you were in the wrong/treated someone badly.

I’m bored, so I’m just going to do another one today instead of waiting for tomorrow.

                                             :)

Something you like that most people hate/something you hate that most people like

Hmm.

1. Something you like that most people hate.

Well, there’s a few things. Like for instance, I love peanut butter on my apples. And, I love mayonnaise and banana sandwiches. 

2. Something you hate that most people like.

Well, there’s also a few things here too. Like for instance, I hate video games, especially call of duty. They are loud and annoying. I hate strip clubs and bars. I hate weed, or drugs of any kind for that matter, and yes, most people actually do love weed. 

Your most “What the heck was I thinking?” ex.

Wow, haha. Well, to be honest, I can’t really think of an ex where I thought, “what the heck was I thinking?” I mean, it’s not like I’ve dated that many and the ones that I did, well they didn’t last long enough for me to think that. I guess if I had to think of someone, the one comes to mind is…Gator. A guy I dated in 8th grade. I don’t really have the ‘what the heck was I thinking?’ question about him, more of a, “wow, was I stupid!” thought. Haha. Either way, everything in my life has brought me here, and here is with Josh, whom I love verry veryy much :)

It sucks. Not all the time, but most of the time, it sucks. Of course, having a child, my life doesn’t completely suck, but right now at this point in my life..I feel, lost. Not necessarily meaning I’m confused on where I want to go in life, just confused on where my life is heading. The future to make that more clear. I mean, I sit here at home all day, everyday. I don’t go anywhere because I don’t have a vehicle. I don’t have a job because I don’t have a vehicle and also because I don’t have someone to depend on for a babysitter. I don’t have any money to spend because I don’t have a job. It’s like my life is a repeating page in a book. Like everyday, I’m reading the same page and I can’t finish the rest of the story because I’m stuck on the same page. Kind of like I feel in life, stuck on the same page and not moving forward. My life seems so repetitive that it’s almost depressing. I get up in the morning, make coffee, say goodbye to Josh as he goes out and works, get up our daughter, change and feed her, play with her, mess around on the computer while she takes a nap, eat, then play with her some more until josh gets home. Then, we eat dinner, put jersey to bed, watch a movie, and go to bed. And then, I do the same thing again the next day, and the next, and the next, and so on. Where do I break this pattern? I mean, I love my life and all of the wonderful blessings in it, I just want something more. I know that may sound selfish, but that’s how I feel. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad, and I wouldn’t feel so bored by the same repetitive things if we had our own house. You know, a place of our own. Where I could walk around in my pj’s all day if I felt like it. Or where I could clean and organize things that way that fit our lifestyles. And maybe, it’s because I want something more out of my relationship with Josh. I want to be married. I want to be able to call Josh my husband instead of my boyfriend. I mean, we’ve been together for a little over three years now. We’ve seen our fair share of up’s and downs and here we are, still going strong. I know that I say that I don’t want marriage yet, but in all honesty, I do. Not that I’m going to ever love Josh any less just because we aren’t husband and wife, I just would love to take that next step in our relationship. Though, at the end of the day, when I do look at my life. It doesn’t suck. Just on some days, to me, it does. Maybe that’s just the way of life. You’re not always going to wake up with sunshine and merry tunes, maybe sometimes you’re supposed to have someone shit in your cheerios. I don’t know. Either way, I still know to count my blessings and just be thankful to be living and to be surrounded by warm hearts. 

Just felt like sharing that.

Something you’re really scared of and why.

Hmm, well I am scared of a few things. Like snakes, for example. Or death, like dying alone or dying before I’ve really lived life. But, I think the two things that I am scared of the most are..

1. Living life without Josh. I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone different. I am not necessarily scared of something happening and he leaves, or I leave, because I know that we have passed that point in our relationship where either one of us would potentionaly  do something like that. I am more scared of him dying, or just in general, something happening to him. I love him too much to loose him now. 

2. Well, of course, it would be anything happening to Jersey. I honestly don’t know where I would be without her. She gives me hope that there is something more to life than just, well life. 

Your least favorite 5 people right now and why

Well..Let’s see.

1. If you know me, you should know the two people on the top of my list.

2. Biological Mother. Biological should say enough.

and well, that’s it. I’ve learned not to hold that many grudges. It’s only when you’ve done something to me as low as the people on this list that you make it on the list. I’m through with negativity in my life, so I would guess that’s why there aren’t that many people on here.

 Your favorite 10 people right now and why.

1. My daughter, Jersey. Why? Well she’s my daughter, of course she is going to be number one on my list.

2. The love of my life, Josh. Why? Well he’s my soulmate. He’s been there for every part of my life and I know that I can count on him for anything, plus he loves me back.

3. Josh’s parents. Why? Because they are giving us a roof over our head, food in our mouths, and love and support like any other.

4. My two best friends, Jessica and Ap. Why? Because they are always there for me like friends should, I love them.

5. My future Sister-in-Law, Rebecca. Why? Because she’s the best sister every. My support system and the world’s best advice giver :)

And that’s it, I can’t think of 10.